You write so well. I particularly enjoyed these lines:
"I do like them. I like them the way I like finding a cool rock on a walk: I admire it, I hold it in my hand, I put it back. I donโt need to keep it forever."
I'll probably not steal it. But I certainly found it quite brilliantly well-expressed and memorable.
You have got Libra rising? Aries on the descendent, so Mars (the lord of the 7th) would presumably be in Sag or the ninth, so international dudes would make sense. This all assuming Uranus is leaving your seventh and moving into your eighth (I have the same situation!). The problem is, is that eighth rules deep relationships, whereas the seventh rules marriage ('partnerships' of all kinds strictly speaking). So Uranus may not be ready to render unto you a break, yet.
elm
theoretically it should induce exciting sexual adventures, or at least shocking ones, but ymmv
I truly wish you the best, whether that is a good man who checks all your boxes and makes you feel the right kind of synergy or peace and contentment in your solitude. I like reading your work, and you seem like a good person who deserves happiness.
I haven't really felt romantic love since I was a teenager. I've felt powerful, lustful attraction, and deep and lasting affection, but that pure obsessive, butterflies in the stomach, can't cope with being apart-thing? That's never happened since.
For me, itโs been 30 years that Iโve not touched a woman not that I donโt like women I love women. The rules have changed over the 30 years or is become more capital intensive or exchange of financials than it was a friendship in the past when I talk to women now even on social I feel more like a John being played. Iโve never paid for sex while possibly yes for dinners and drinks but now itโs a matter of blood thirsty reaches ticks and piranha.
I'm in that 7-8 year range as well. A friend of mine, who has been single for much longer, told me recently that she misses the companionship more than anything else. Just that someone to go places with, do things with, and sometimes just exist with. Others around me find it hard to accept my aromantic existence, but I've definitely come to terms with it. Sure, I miss that connectedness at times, but overall, I enjoy just being me and living life as I choose. I was in a few long-term relationships for almost 30 years, so spending the next 30 solo doesn't seem so bad to me.
6 years. Dated here and there, but no relationships. I get touch starved, lonely, etc., but I also really enjoy my life on my own, on my own terms. The idea that we have to love ourselves before we can love someone else, I've found to be true. I've also found that I like my alone time enough that I won't settle or trade my peace for the curb appeal of a relationship that might infringe on that peace. I don't know if this makes sense. It makes sense in my head.
You put words to the quiet ache so many carry but rarely voice. Thereโs no desperation here, only grace, the grace of waiting, of wondering, of choosing curiosity over bitterness. Your story reminds us that love isnโt just found in another person, itโs in the space we hold for ourselves while we wait, heal, and live. Thank you for writing the kind of love story that doesnโt need a partner to feel whole.
For you it seems you havenโt met the right person who can except you for you but darling a woman over forty with no child and no divorce is a red flag for many men they see issues
From what little I know about you (and what is social media but a calculated drawing-away of the curtain?) I sense that you want to keep creating as long as you can. The freedom to do that, to keep challenging yourself, to feel that rush of artistic spark, I think, will take priority over romantic impulses (though those romantic impulses will continue to provide inspiration). My guess is that your long term partner will share this creative energy and you'll feed off each other.
Have you heard of the authors Francesco Alberoni? His book Innamoramento e amore (Falling in Love, 1979) helped to understand a lot about myself. I think his book Il mistero dell'innamoramento ("The Mystery of Falling in Love", 2003) is an update on that other book. I havenโt seen an English translation. I know of translations to Spanish and French. You can swear in French, perhaps you can read. Or you got Italian from home.
Iโm very similar to you, without the creativity though, great first date and then I struggle. Iโm apparently such a good first date that Iโve had around five first dates with one lady spread out over years and then I canโt seem to connect further.
Oh well, I guess it will happen if and when itโs supposed to.
The quote you shared - Love is like a bus, if you wait long enough another one will come around - resonates with me. And I think it can be paired with a similar bus related quote that's about elections. It goes something like, "Voting is like taking a bus. If the bus gets you close to where you want to go, take it. If it doesn't get you EXACTLY where you need to go, that doesn't mean you shouldn't vote." And in this context, I think that just means as long as you keep yourself open to love, to suitors and such, you'll get close. And eventually, you'll get exactly what you want.
I loved your writing. The first line piqued my interest too. Plus off topic but you're really pretty
You write so well. I particularly enjoyed these lines:
"I do like them. I like them the way I like finding a cool rock on a walk: I admire it, I hold it in my hand, I put it back. I donโt need to keep it forever."
I'll probably not steal it. But I certainly found it quite brilliantly well-expressed and memorable.
You have got Libra rising? Aries on the descendent, so Mars (the lord of the 7th) would presumably be in Sag or the ninth, so international dudes would make sense. This all assuming Uranus is leaving your seventh and moving into your eighth (I have the same situation!). The problem is, is that eighth rules deep relationships, whereas the seventh rules marriage ('partnerships' of all kinds strictly speaking). So Uranus may not be ready to render unto you a break, yet.
elm
theoretically it should induce exciting sexual adventures, or at least shocking ones, but ymmv
I truly wish you the best, whether that is a good man who checks all your boxes and makes you feel the right kind of synergy or peace and contentment in your solitude. I like reading your work, and you seem like a good person who deserves happiness.
Good luck out there.
I haven't really felt romantic love since I was a teenager. I've felt powerful, lustful attraction, and deep and lasting affection, but that pure obsessive, butterflies in the stomach, can't cope with being apart-thing? That's never happened since.
For me, itโs been 30 years that Iโve not touched a woman not that I donโt like women I love women. The rules have changed over the 30 years or is become more capital intensive or exchange of financials than it was a friendship in the past when I talk to women now even on social I feel more like a John being played. Iโve never paid for sex while possibly yes for dinners and drinks but now itโs a matter of blood thirsty reaches ticks and piranha.
I'm in that 7-8 year range as well. A friend of mine, who has been single for much longer, told me recently that she misses the companionship more than anything else. Just that someone to go places with, do things with, and sometimes just exist with. Others around me find it hard to accept my aromantic existence, but I've definitely come to terms with it. Sure, I miss that connectedness at times, but overall, I enjoy just being me and living life as I choose. I was in a few long-term relationships for almost 30 years, so spending the next 30 solo doesn't seem so bad to me.
6 years. Dated here and there, but no relationships. I get touch starved, lonely, etc., but I also really enjoy my life on my own, on my own terms. The idea that we have to love ourselves before we can love someone else, I've found to be true. I've also found that I like my alone time enough that I won't settle or trade my peace for the curb appeal of a relationship that might infringe on that peace. I don't know if this makes sense. It makes sense in my head.
You put words to the quiet ache so many carry but rarely voice. Thereโs no desperation here, only grace, the grace of waiting, of wondering, of choosing curiosity over bitterness. Your story reminds us that love isnโt just found in another person, itโs in the space we hold for ourselves while we wait, heal, and live. Thank you for writing the kind of love story that doesnโt need a partner to feel whole.
โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
5 years, in a festering Vancouver sociology of distance. So much of this resonates! ๐ค๐ณ
Mind is 5 + yrs
For you it seems you havenโt met the right person who can except you for you but darling a woman over forty with no child and no divorce is a red flag for many men they see issues
Just saying love
Michael
You know nothing of me
From what little I know about you (and what is social media but a calculated drawing-away of the curtain?) I sense that you want to keep creating as long as you can. The freedom to do that, to keep challenging yourself, to feel that rush of artistic spark, I think, will take priority over romantic impulses (though those romantic impulses will continue to provide inspiration). My guess is that your long term partner will share this creative energy and you'll feed off each other.
Thank you so much for this. I do think creativity and love/sex are heavily connected.
Have you heard of the authors Francesco Alberoni? His book Innamoramento e amore (Falling in Love, 1979) helped to understand a lot about myself. I think his book Il mistero dell'innamoramento ("The Mystery of Falling in Love", 2003) is an update on that other book. I havenโt seen an English translation. I know of translations to Spanish and French. You can swear in French, perhaps you can read. Or you got Italian from home.
Iโll check it out !
Iโm very similar to you, without the creativity though, great first date and then I struggle. Iโm apparently such a good first date that Iโve had around five first dates with one lady spread out over years and then I canโt seem to connect further.
Oh well, I guess it will happen if and when itโs supposed to.
The quote you shared - Love is like a bus, if you wait long enough another one will come around - resonates with me. And I think it can be paired with a similar bus related quote that's about elections. It goes something like, "Voting is like taking a bus. If the bus gets you close to where you want to go, take it. If it doesn't get you EXACTLY where you need to go, that doesn't mean you shouldn't vote." And in this context, I think that just means as long as you keep yourself open to love, to suitors and such, you'll get close. And eventually, you'll get exactly what you want.
Great quote !
I have many years under my belt as well. I miss hugs. Strange what you miss, and what you don't.